Poisonous Dream (The Starlight Gods Series Book 5) Page 19

  "Isn't that dangerous?" Marcus questioned, his face growing serious.

  "Phoenix flame is their energy source to shift. Think about it like how a vampire needs blood to thrive. Low blood levels make them sluggish, the same way as a phoenix shifter with a low level of fire. That's how they shift and are able to summon fire to their command," Daniel explained.

  "Won't it rejuvenate?" I questioned.

  "In time, yes. But the shifter needs lots of rest. And for their flame to be that low, they had to exert a large amount of energy," Daniel replied. He walked over to Kai, pressing a hand gently to his forehead.

  Kai didn't move, still fast asleep as Daniel's eyes flickered a bright gold— Azriel taking over. He frowned, his hand retreating before he walked back toward us.

  "His flame is low. He shouldn't be using his gift of teleportation either," Azriel announced.

  We all exchanged looks, Azriel retreating and allowing Daniel to take over.

  "I'll talk with Kai in the morning," Daniel announced.

  We nodded in agreement. I looked at Daniel, whose eyes lingered on Makoto.

  "You two haven't made up, have you?" I questioned.

  Daniel sighed, his hand going through his hair that was really messy and out of place for the angel shifter. "She keeps avoiding me," he whispered.

  "I think she's afraid of facing you the most," Marcus revealed.

  "Why?" I asked.

  "Daniel likes things perfect or close to it. No wrinkles in his shirts and he has an addiction to white shirts. Even his hair has to be perfect. I think in Mako's mind, because she can’t walk she’s not perfect or at a level of perfection that is worth Daniel's love," Marcus suggested.

  "But I love her. Why would she think I wouldn't just because of that!" Daniel replied, his voice increased in volume.

  "Mew," Nightmare called out.

  We turned to see Mako stir. We all tensed up and waited to see if Daniel had woken her up. Nightmare walked into Mako's lap, beginning to purr. She mumbled something about unicorns before her body relaxed, falling back to sleep.

  Nightmare stared up at Mako, before turning to glare at us.

  "Sorry," Daniel whispered.

  "Mew." Nightmare returned to her spot between Mako and Kai, returning to sleep quickly.

  "We should go outside," Ryder suggested.

  We all nodded and followed Ryder out.

  "I need to have alone time with her. Just a few hours," Daniel confessed.

  I could see how troubling this was for him, from the way his eyes lingered on the floor and the sorrow that laced his voice.

  The rest of us exchanged looks.

  "If we gave you all afternoon and night tomorrow, you think you can work it out?" I suggested.

  Daniel lifted his head to glance at us. "Yes. But, wouldn't that look suspicious?" he asked.

  "I'll tell Kai when he wakes up. He's a smooth talker, he'll think of something and we'll just leave. Mako's being transferred to stay in her room in the private section of the castle, right? We have to help set up Operation Stool. Now that we're together, it would be the perfect opportunity to get that done while you fix the tension between you and Mako," I proposed.

  "That sounds like a good plan. And it's about time we finished Operation Stool. I got the remaining stuff with the onesies when I went to Earthala," Marcus agreed.

  "Then it's settled. Tomorrow we’ll work on Operation Stool. Elias, inform Kai of our plans," Ryder ordered.

  Marcus and I nodded.

  Ryder stepped in front of Daniel, placing his hand on his shoulder. "We know you love Makoto. All you need to do is prove to her you'll stay by her side. No more hesitation. Once she sees that, she'll lower her walls. She's avoiding you to protect her feelings. Not because she doesn't love you," Ryder advised.

  Daniel nodded. "Okay. Thanks, guys. I'll do my best." Daniel bowed his head.

  We smiled, and Marcus yawned.

  "Let's go get some snooze. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day," Marcus announced.

  "Agreed," I replied.

  "Don't sleep in my room, Marcus. Your snoring is annoying," Daniel mumbled.

  "I wasn't planning to come in your room, you ass," Marcus huffed.

  "Mako said Marcus’ snoring will help her become a soldier." Ryder chuckled.

  "How?" I asked, confused.

  "It will help deepen her voice. I told her not to say anything to Marcus for the sake of his pride," Ryder replied.

  I laughed and Daniel snickered while Marcus groaned.

  "Fuck all of you," he mumbled.

  "It's okay, Marcus. We’ll be your sleeping buddy tonight. Eli and I don't mind your snoring," I comforted, walking forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

  "Whatever," he mumbled, causing us to laugh once again.

  I prayed tomorrow would go well for Daniel, so we could go back to how we were before. I couldn't wait to finish our little project, and maybe we'd finally celebrate being home together with our shining light.

  ~MAKOTO~

  "Princess, I'll be back. I promise."

  "I don't believe you," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at Kai who gave me a sympathetic look. Today was Friday and I was supposed to have therapy today, but my knights had been summoned to attend a meeting. Kai had tried to ditch it, but Ryder had just informed him it was mandatory for all of them.

  I knew I shouldn't delay him, but I felt something was off. It could have been my nerves, not wanting to be alone. It was my first time being in my own private room after being stuck in the medical center for more than a rotation.

  It was nice to be in a different environment, and my room was exceptionally beautiful. Mother and EliaseAnne worked on it together last night after I passed out. I had actually tried to stay awake, but I didn't realize I'd failed until I woke up this morning in Kai's arms, both of us still in our onesies.

  "Are you upset that I'm leaving you alone?" he questioned, eyeing me carefully.

  I frowned, sighing as I laid back in bed, pulling the sheets over my head. I heard his footsteps approaching the left side of my bed. He tugged on the blanket, but I held it firmly.

  "Go away," I mumbled.

  "Princess."

  I poked my head out from my blanket barricade, pouting at him. "What?"

  He leaned over and gave me a slow kiss. I didn't want to admit that I would be lonely without anyone here. He released my lips, but stayed only an inch away.

  "I'll miss you the entire time. The moment we're done, I'll teleport back, okay?"

  "Okay," I replied, giving him a small smile.

  He kissed my forehead before standing up straight. "Your wheelchair is right next to your bed and there's lots of milk in the fridge," Kai announced.

  "Regular and chocolate?" I inquired.

  He grinned. "There's strawberry too," he replied.

  I gawked at him. "I want some now!" I announced.

  He laughed. "Reserve it for after your therapy with me." He winked; a glint of lust flashed through his eyes.

  My cheeks flushed, but I nodded. "Fine," I whispered.

  "That's my Princess," he soothed, heading to the door. He looked back over his shoulder. "Makoto."

  I turned to face his serious expression. "Yes, Kai?"

  "Remember that all of us love you. Every single one of us."

  I frowned, unsure of his random comment, but maybe he was seeing something from the future? "Okay. I'll remember," I replied.

  He nodded, giving me a wave before closing the door. I could sense the magic leak from the door; seconds later Kai's presence was gone.

  "What did he mean by that?" I wondered to myself.

  "Who knows? Sometimes Kai speaks in riddles," Midnight replied, feeling just as confused as me.

  I sighed, leaning back into a lying position.

  Guess I'll take a nap and then go around the halls to waste time.

  "Sounds adventurous." Midnight yawned.

  I smiled and relaxed, letting the darkness take me so I cou
ld enjoy a long nap.

  "Three more steps," Midnight coached.

  I panted, nodding my head as I focused on lifting my leg. I took another step, my arms outstretched to my sides to keep me balanced.

  "Two more," Midnight encouraged.

  I lifted my other leg to take another step, wobbling as I struggled to maintain my balance.

  "You can do this, Mako," Hope cheered, lingering in my mind.

  I took deep breaths as my legs trembled from fatigue. One more, one more.

  I took the final step, reaching the rail of the wall and using it to save me from falling. I sighed, lowering myself to the ground, trying to catch my breath as I turned off my magic. I stared at my markings, the multicolored lines and roses dimmed back to their black tattoo appearance.

  I wiped the sweat from my face, droplets rolling down my neck and chest. I pulled my hair tie out of my hair, resting against the wall with my eyes closed.

  "Good work, Mako," Hope cheered.

  "You did well," Midnight agreed.

  "Thanks," I replied, taking a big inhale before letting it out. I looked across the hall, frowning at how far away my wheelchair was.

  It would take another twenty steps to reach there, but with how exhausted I was, I doubted I'd make five. My shoulders sank, wishing Kade, Mother, or Father were here to help. They were all stuck in a different meeting. Something to do with a royal competition that occurs in the castle every cycle.

  Kade assured me he'd explain the details this weekend or Father could when we had breaks during my training session. I didn't even know if I'd be able to participate in the weekend training if I could barely last three sets of walking up and down the hall.

  I looked back at my legs, trying to concentrate my energy, but nothing happened. I heaved a sigh.

  "I'd be a sitting duck if this was the facility. Hah, scratch that. I'd be fucking dead." I blinked back tears, my hands going through my hair before I pressed them against my face. I fought the urge to cry with each second that passed.

  I hadn't realized how hard it would be to train by myself. When Kai or the others were around, their encouragement always gave me an energy boost. Yet by myself, I couldn't get my head out of the gutter; I felt like shit.

  All the cycles I spent alone, it was just me and my spirits. I had to motivate myself and push myself to be strong enough to defend my life. Only a few rotations after escaping such a fate, I couldn't even push myself to the same limits. That simple thought made me feel helpless. I hated it.

  "Mako. It's okay to depend on others," Hope soothed.

  "It's not okay!" I screamed, tears rolling down my cheek. I didn't mean to shout, but it was beyond frustrating.

  It was as if every day I would take a step forward, but by the end of it, I'd be back at where I started. I wasn't moving forward or getting better. I was stuck in the middle with no way out of my predicament and I couldn't ignore feeling utterly useless.

  "Mako, don't cry," Midnight whispered, only making me cry harder as I sobbed on the floor.

  I used my arms to wipe away the tears that escaped my eyes, trying to concentrate on my legs. If I could just make it back to my wheelchair, I could go back to my room and be depressed till Kai returned.

  Yes. If Kai comes back, I'll feel better.

  I continued attempting to use my magic to get up, but my markings stayed as they were. I laughed in disbelief, letting out a frustrated huff before looking at my wheelchair that was so far away.

  Guess I have to crawl...how pathetic.

  I closed my eyes, wishing I could disappear. I struggled to ignore the inner voices running through my mind— the memories of all the rude comments The Owner and the other lab scientists stated each time when I couldn’t reach their daily goal.

  "Mako."

  I ignored the voice, thinking it was inside my mind like the others. Now I'm hearing Daniel torment me. Great.

  "Mako, I'm not tormenting you. I'm right here," he replied.

  I opened my eyes, turning my head slightly to the left to see Daniel's gold eyes that were filled with worry. I wanted to hug him, to smell him, to apologize to him, but I looked away. I would only be a burden to him.

  "Go away," I whispered.

  "Mako," Daniel began, but I didn't let him. I centered my frustration and sudden burst of anger to my legs— enough for them to begin to glow; my sensation and leg function returning to me. I quickly rose to my feet, using the wall and rail for support. I took a step forward.

  "I don't need your help," I scolded.

  "Mako, why do you keep running away?" Daniel argued.

  "I'm not running away. I don't want to see you," I replied taking another step. I already felt exhausted, but I needed to get away, to avoid this conversation. My heart couldn't handle his rejection, even though a small part of me told me he still loved me.

  "Mako, you’re just pushing yourself. Stop." He grabbed my arm, halting me from taking another step.

  I bit my lip, tears rolling down my cheek. "Let go."

  "No."

  "I can make it."

  "Mako. You’re pushing yourself. It isn't going to solve anything, and you know it," he whispered. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into an embrace.

  I won't fall for it. It's just a facade. He just feels pity for you.

  "I don't feel pity for you, Mako. Why aren't you giving me a chance?" he questioned.

  I could sense the hurt in his low voice. He lifted me up, walking the remaining distance and placing me in my wheelchair. I whispered my thanks and quickly turned around, ready to stroll away and retreat to my room.

  "Mako."

  "I'm going back to my room."

  "Do you still love me?"

  I stopped in my tracks, my eyes grew wide at his sudden question. I didn't reply, trying to determine if my ears were playing tricks on me.

  He continued. "If....if you don't love me anymore, you can stroll away. If you're upset that I failed you...that I caused all this pain and hurt, I'll stay away from you. I'll only be your knight and nothing more. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't heal you and you’re struggling. But...if you don't love me anymore, I'll understand and won't bother you anymore," he vowed.

  "Truth..." Hope whispered.

  I could sense her grief, but I could also sense Midnight’s sadness, which made me even more concerned. Midnight once hated him. Why did she feel sad if I walked away?

  Midnight...do you like Daniel?

  She was silent in my mind, but I didn't need her to say anything. From the way my heart skipped a beat, to the tears that rolled down my face, I knew if I walked away we'd both be hurt and I wouldn't be able to handle our joint pain and Hope's sadness with losing Azriel.

  I loved Daniel. I loved him so much that he had been the hardest to confront. I knew about him comforting Midnight during her nightmares. I knew about him secretly checking on me during my therapy sessions with Kai. I could sense his presence in the middle of the night when I was half asleep, his soft hands brushing my cheek or his smooth lips pressing against mine as he wished me sweet dreams.

  He was the one, regardless of his love for perfection, who would never abandon me. Yet my mind wanted to find some way to prove my feelings wrong. To reinforce the lies that the Owner had always told us; that freedom only left you as a fool and having the freedom to love would leave you heartbroken just as how it left Midnight when Samuel had forsaken her.

  I placed my hands on the wheels, ready to move forward, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't allow me to walk away, to give up on my angel star knight who'd proven his worth long ago. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my sobs as my shoulders shook. I felt something hop onto my lap. I opened my eyes a crack to see Nightmare's mismatched eyes staring back.

  "Mew."

  Her tails glowed a dark blue as she cuddled, staring up at me with sad eyes. I heard Daniel's footsteps until he faced me, lowering to his knees to peer up at me.

  "That's...not fair...dammit," I cursed through sobs.


  Daniel didn't say anything, he just reached out to wipe away my tears that wouldn't stop flowing. He lifted me in his arms once more, Nightmare resting on my chest as she tried to console me. I cried into his white shirt, staining it with my tears. I continued to cry all the way to my room.

  Even when we reached my bed, he didn't let go. He kicked off his slippers before sitting on the bed, cradling me in his arms.

  I lost track of how long I cried. I was tired of fighting and couldn't take this distance between us. I was bound to these men and they all were a part of my heart. I couldn't cast one away, especially when he didn't deserve it.

  My insecurities were the cause of all of this and I'd just been hurting him.

  "I'm sorry," I mumbled over and over again. I could sense his relief, but he merely consoled me. He pressed soft kisses against my temple, whispering soothing words and stroking my hair, an action that always helped me calm down.

  I must have fallen asleep, waking up to a dimly lit room, the nightstand the only light. I was still in Daniel's arms, and I inhaled his rich lavender scent. My hair was in a braided crown and I wore a long white t-shirt. I could smell Daniel on the white cotton fabric and I knew it was his.

  I glanced up to see his peaceful expression, his eyes closed. I tried to reposition myself, but his arm tightened around my waist, his eyes squeezing momentarily before opening.

  His gaze locked on mine, looking dazed before he blinked a few times. I noticed his glasses were on top of his head, the silver frames standing out from his loose ash blond hair.

  I lifted my hand, taking his glasses and sliding them onto his face. He smiled, a relieved expression forming on his face.

  "Hey."

  "Hi."

  I struggled with what to say. To figure out the proper words to fix all of the tension I had caused. I opened my lips, afraid to start crying again, but he lowered his lips to mine, stopping me.

  When he pulled back, I looked at him in confusion.

  "No more apologies. You did nothing wrong. I...should have been honest with you from the very beginning. I know you were afraid of me rejecting you, and it's my fault for not proving to you that my love for you, Rosalina Mackenzie Heart, our Makoto, will never falter. I'm sorry for not being able to prove that to you earlier. I lost sight of my duty as a knight, and you got hurt because of it. I'm sorry for not having enough courage to tell you my troubles and past. But I won't run away or ignore my mistakes any longer. From now on, I'll be both your loyal knight and lover and I won't ever stop loving you. No matter what happens, regardless of whether you walk or grow old, I'll love you, until we leave this galaxy and ascend to the stars above," Daniel proclaimed.