SEDUCE MY LOVE (Bloody Desires Series Book 4) Page 2

  "You don't know that," I muttered.

  "Sia."

  I lifted my eyes to meet his determined ones. "It will never happen from today onward. Understood?"

  As much as I wanted to defy him, knowing first hand that no one else kept their promises, I didn't. Seeing Father was a rarity in itself and I didn't want to fuck it up over my stubbornness.

  "Understood," I replied, before glancing away. "I never want kids. Never want anyone to experience this continuous cycle of pain, blood, tears, and anger. I hate Mother. I wish she'd just aborted me like she al-"

  My eyes went wide when I was pulled into a warm hug, my mind taking a few seconds to realize Dad was hugging me.

  "Dad?" I asked in confusion, unsure why he had me in an embrace.

  "Sia. Stop," he whispered. "You're so special, Sia. You are someone who will unite many when the time calls for you."

  "If I'm important or special, why do I have to stay here?" My voice cracked and I had to fight not to break down. "I'm lonely, Dad. I want friends. I want someone who loves me and doesn't abuse and hurt me. Won't I ever find someone like that? So that when you're not here, I'm not stranded?"

  "You will, Sia. In time. Your future is bright. I just need you to stay a bit longer. I know it hurts. I don't want this for you, but this is the safest place for you. When you reach eighteen, you'll be able to do what you want. You'll be able to fulfill your dreams and find a man who will love and dedicate himself to you. This is hard, and I wish to remove you from all of this, but I can only help on the outside and these rare occasions. I know you don't understand now, but trust me. Please, Sia. I swear, when you come of age, I'll make sure you leave these grounds."

  He pulled back to see my sad eyes, but I could tell he meant it. He'd somehow find a way to take me from Mother.

  "You understand, Sia?" he whispered.

  "Will I really find someone? Someone who doesn't want me just because I'm a succubus?" It could have been due to my age, but I desperately wanted a companion. Someone who'd listen to my struggles and not judge me. It was a weird thought to have, but ever since my succubus powers began to grow, that's what I wanted.

  Not full devotion to serve me, but a kind of love that won't waver from the influence of others.

  "I'm sure you will, my dear. You just have to be patient for me to help obtain a lifestyle where no one can walk over you. Your mother may want to make you into a weapon. But I want to make sure you gain the confidence and power in the outside world so that no one can take advantage of you again. Not unless they have a death wish."

  I slowly nodded and tried to give him a smile. "Dad?"

  "Yes, Sia?"

  "Can't you stay? Even for one night?" I whispered. "I miss you telling me stories. I know I'm older and all but-"

  "I'll stay," he replied. My hesitant smile turned to a full one and I tried not to squeal. He stood up and helped me up.

  "But first, you need different clothes. I have to disguise myself to get stuff. Just relax in that corner for now," he instructed, pointing to the corner that looked more appealing than the others that had their share of dried blood.

  "Um," I started but paused. Father met my eyes and simply nodded. "I'll get you another packet."

  I gave him a thankful smile, moving to the corner at a slow pace. Though the blood and Father's healing spell had helped significantly, my body was still playing catch-up.

  When I reached the corner, I lowered to the ground, noticing Father was staring at me. I gave him a tiny smile, hoping it would tell him I was okay. He turned around, ready to leave, but I whispered.

  "Dad?"

  "Yes, Sia?"

  "You'll come back, right? I wish I didn't forget you every time you leave."

  I could have had a spell put on me, but I really did wish I never forgot about him or these interactions.

  "I'll be back, Sia," he whispered, walking to the metal door. He placed his hand on it, but paused and looked over his shoulder to meet my sad eyes.

  "One day, you will remember me without my visitation. When that happens, I'll make sure to stay for good."

  "Why?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

  I saw the slight smile that formed at the corner of his lip before he turned around to face the door.

  "It means you'll be ready to face the dark side of our world. You'll be ready to fight those who want to do harm to people you care about," he declared, pausing for a few seconds.

  "And?" I asked.

  "And you'll be ready to fight the war I've been desperately trying to hide you from."

  2

  Forgive Me And Laying Low

  My eyes focused on the cup of steaming tea that was in my hands. It was the only thing I could do while I tried to absorb the current situation I was in.

  I never in my life imagined I'd be sitting up in bed, attempting to drink tea with my dad present. To be fair, I doubt I'd even had the ability to imagine such, seeing as I'd always forget him when he left.

  Then when he'd come back, the past memories of him would hit me like a ton of bricks.

  It could have been due to the number of years that had passed, or the sheer shock of seeing him, but after he'd introduced himself when the others were present, I'd stared at him for ten seconds before I completely blacked out.

  Needless to say, I woke up a few hours later in Pix's arms, leaving him the knightly role of explaining to me what happened afterward.

  Essentially, they moved Brian to another room to give me space, with Pix staying behind to watch me while Liam, Roxy, Alaric, and my Dad went to discuss some things.

  Pix didn't know what exactly, but he figured my father or someone else would give us a recap of what was talked about.

  After I reassured Pix I was okay and that I did want to see my dad, he went to get him. I assumed he wouldn't be asleep, even though I'd woken up late in the evening.

  Pix had returned with my dad and two cups of tea. The tea would help me calm my nerves and he'd brought me two blood tablets to take once the steaming hot liquid cooled down.

  I didn't feel like I needed them, but Pix gave me a look that told me I had to for my own sake. I guess I wouldn't want to jump anyone for blood.

  Pix had left to give Father and me some privacy, but I personally wished he was here to give me a little bit of moral support. It wasn't like I was scared of Dad, but it was more like I didn't know what to say.

  The last time I saw him was when I was eighteen and I was still struggling to regain those memories, seeing as my brain was taking its time in remembering this time.

  Rather than slap me with a bunch of memories and hope I remained conscious long enough to absorb them all.

  I wondered how long our silence would carry on for, but I still didn't have enough courage to lift my head and look at Father's eyes. I knew if I stared at them long enough, my walls would crumble.

  Even though I couldn't recall the number of times he'd saved me at the last second of death in that dark dungeon, I always wondered if he was okay.

  Was he alive? Was he enjoying life on the other side of the world? Did he even care about my existence? It was those questions I asked myself when enjoying a pity party, whether alone with a glass of beer or the few times I'd spent it with Alexander when the dark memories crept in on me.

  The thought alone reminded me of him, wondering if he hated me for the decision I made. I bet anyone on the outside would judge me. Think I was being selfish or self-centered for judging Alexander so harshly.

  Sometimes I questioned it myself, but then my past would creep in. Alexander had known me the longest. He knew about everything. The full story of me being raised in that dungeon since before I could walk. Knew all about the torture, constant verbal abuse, the men who'd come and rape me against my will.

  Everything.

  I'd let him know the real me. The one I hid behind the multiple layers of smiles, confidence, and power I tried to demonstrate in both my demeanor and attitude.

  That's
why I was being stubbornly harsh. If someone who'd endured all I had experienced a bit of betrayal like how I'd felt when Alexander hadn't shown up, maybe they would see my point of view.

  I'd let Alexander go so he could find someone who isn't as fucked up as me with my standards and trust issues. It was for the best.

  "Sia, my dear."

  I closed my eyes at Father's soft voice. He didn't mind that I hadn't lifted my head as always. "What are you thinking about?"

  I debated whether to tell him what I was thinking. Obviously, he knew nothing about Alexander, but maybe if I explained it to him, I'd get a better view of my rationality.

  The sound of tiny tapping reached my ears and I blinked when something hopped onto my lap. Moving my cup just slightly, I smiled at Pix, whose sky blue eyes looked up to me in curiosity.

  "Hey, Pix." I grinned and used one hand to pet him while I held my cup of tea in the other.

  He immediately began to purr before he moved around and settled in my lap, making sure he was in my line of view, even with my eyes lowered. I took a deep breath, feeling a hint of motivation to digress.

  "When I left the dungeon to start life, I eventually met a guy named Alexander," I began, needing a moment to take a sip of my tea. The warm liquid ran down my throat, giving me a moment to ease my nerves.

  I took the hesitant glance to look up, meeting those red eyes with silver-rimmed irises that looked back at me with 100% concentration. I lowered my gaze once more but felt a little more at ease while I continued.

  "We became friends, and well, eventually I moved in with him. At first, you could say our relationship was kind of more of like a 'friends with benefits' thing. I mean, not really in the common benefits others would think about, but he was running away from his controlling parents while I worked on setting up a foundation for myself so I wouldn't have to rely on anyone financially."

  Taking a deep breath, I continued. "I had a lot of nightmares. When I lived on my own, it didn't matter because no one would hear them but me. However, when I lived with him, it just became so frequent that there was no way I could avoid the conversation of what caused them. I didn't tell him everything right away. Just little bits until I could trust him. Eventually, I finally was able to tell him about the deeper stuff."

  I looked up again and Father simply nodded, clearly understanding what I meant by deeper stuff. "He knew about everything. Experiments and all. I trusted him and he'd never break that trust. We've been good for a long time...until recently."

  Sipping my tea for a long moment, I carried on.

  "See, I took a job and that landed me in Liam's office, which eventually wasn't Liam's office, but his brother Brian’s. Long story short, I basically fell in love with both of them and Alexander got irritated. We worked it out and he even confessed to me that he loved me. I thought everything was going to be happily ever after like in the movies, but then I um..." I trailed off, feeling the slight shift in my mind, my wolf poking and waking up mid-conversation.

  I could see her curious eyes in her wolf form and she sat back down and listened in patiently. I checked in on Dad's gaze and he was still concentrating on what I was trying to say.

  "I died, so to speak," I announced.

  Father frowned, looking displeased about the news, but I quickly continued. "Obviously, I didn't DIE die or I wouldn't be here right now, but by the time the guys and Pixel arrived, I was far too close to death to survive the trip for help."

  "Did Alaric’s son have no choice but to change you?" Father asked. He didn't sound mad, more curious than anything. I met his gaze and nodded, looking back down to see Pix's sad eyes. I began to pet him comfortingly, hoping he wouldn't be sad on my behalf.

  My wolf was still in her place, listening in but watching Father's reactions for me.

  "It took about three months, but I survived the change. However, it felt as though because I was now a triple hybrid, I wasn't really attractive to Alexander anymore. I can't say for sure seeing as I can't read his mind or anything, but whether I texted, called, or left a voicemail, he wouldn't reply. He mentioned he was dealing with family problems and I know his parents are strict and trying to control his life, but...I really needed him. Even if I had two mates at the time...oh, which by the way, they're technically my mates," I added in with a sheepish smile. "I still wanted his reassurance. It was something I'd been accustomed to, and maybe it was my error of judgment to rely on him for that emotional comfort, but I just wanted to know if he still cared. That's why I kept calling and texting. Yet..." I paused and blinked away my tears.

  "All you wanted was validation that he cared for you regardless of the change you experienced," Father commented. I nodded my head and placed my tea back on the tray that was on the left side of the bed.

  "When I had changed, he seemed irritated. I found out that he was actually a wolf shifter and not just a human who can use magic from time to time. I felt...I don't know. Betrayed? Lied to? I just felt as though I'd done my best to be transparent with my past because I wanted him to understand where I came from, but he wasn't okay with letting me know what was going on with his parents? Like, maybe I'm stupid to want an 'exchange of personal information,' but wouldn't that be an expectation when we're in a relationship? I'm sure if the roles were reversed, he'd be upset with me," I voiced.

  "Meow." Pix nudged his head against my stomach, making me grin at his attempt to add his approval into the mix.

  I figured the guys would be more on my side because they hated seeing me upset, but at least with Dad, he'd be more open-minded. Not to mention he wasn't biased, even if I was his daughter.

  "Basically, something happened where a jealous member of the wolf pack locked me in a dungeon," I began and paused, trying not to focus on what had happened within those walls, but what led to the 'last straw' of it all.

  Pix began to purr and snuggled as close as he could. Probably his way to comfort me.

  "Long story short, I um...was triggered, so to say." I met his gaze, noticing a bit of anger in his red eyes, but I was mature enough to know it wasn't directed at me, but the situation I’d been in.

  "You went into Eclipse Mode," Father confirmed.

  "Is that the fancy way of saying it?" I asked, letting out a sigh as I used my free hand to ruffle my black locks. "I guess it would make sense since I feel blind when I'm in that state, because I'm normally unconscious or can't remember anything,"

  "It is. I'll explain in detail later," he assured me.

  "Okay. Well, I went into Eclipse Mode and almost killed the wolf, but Brian stopped us...us as in my wolf who had taken over while I went all trigger friendly on everything. Alexander showed up and I was pissed because he came late. He was tricked, I think, but the others said he should have known the wolf shifter was lying. His excuse was the same.”

  "That he had family problems?" Father inquired.

  "Yup. The one time I really needed him and he had family problems. He had promised the others that he'd come back in time to make sure I was okay while they were out. If it was any other situation, I wouldn't have even asked him. I would have just relied on the others or relied on myself. The problem was I was still recovering from this change and the wolf shifter had exchanged the medication I was supposed to take without anyone's knowledge. It was stupid of me for letting my guard down."

  "It shouldn't necessarily be your fault when you're not used to an environment or physical change. But you having your guard down could have been a problem anywhere else," Father noted.

  "I'm aware," I replied with a nod. "It won't happen again, hopefully."

  "I'm not scolding you, Sia. I'm just saying." The calming flow of his voice made me smile.

  "Thanks," I whispered.

  "What happened in the end?"

  "I basically moved my things out and didn't tell him until he called to apologize, which was what I was explaining to everyone before you arrived. I just want him to get my viewpoint? Even if it’s stupid, selfish, and unfair. I don't
know. The fact he couldn't tell me what was going on made me feel like I was nothing to him. Especially when he arrived far too late." I hadn't realized I was crying until a soft brush of a hand ran across my cheek.

  I lifted my eyes to meet Dad's, and it seemed like my tears wouldn't stop.

  "You loved him." Father gave me a sad smile and I slowly nodded. Even though Pix was quietly watching, I knew he wouldn't judge me for what I was about to admit.

  "I still do. I want him to be a part of this. To be one of my lovers, but I feel every time we're good, something gets in the way and fucks it up. First, it was me falling in love with Liam. Then Brian, and if he knows or finds out about Pixel and me, I have no idea what he'll think."

  Father looked confused, looking down to Pix, who met his stare and tilted his little head.

  "Meow."

  "You're in love with your familiar?" he asked.

  "Uh, he's not mine. He's um...well, he's Pixel. The one who brought you here," I elaborated.

  "Ah. Cat shifter. Intriguing." Father nodded in understanding. "Do you think Alexander doesn't love you anymore?" Father asked.

  "I don't know."

  "Did you ask him?"

  "No."

  "Because?"

  "I'm stubborn and didn't want to hear any excuses," I mumbled. His warm chuckle floated around me and I pouted at him. "Dad, feel pity for me."

  "I feel some pity for my daughter," he admitted, reaching out to wipe away my tears. "But I also would like to hear about the family issue with Alexander. Does he always have problems with his parents?"

  "Since the day I met him. They always wanted him to do what they said and they were super upset when Alexander told them we were dating," I admitted.

  Father nodded and sat back to cross his right leg over his left. "Arranged marriage?"

  "Huh?" I commented, wondering how he knew about that issue. "How did you know about that? Well, in Alexander’s case, he said he'd been denying it for a while, so his parents stopped asking.

  "It's common." Father shrugged, but I could tell he didn't approve of the idea. "Wolf packs are invested in power. Chances are, they only know that you're a succubus and not a hybrid. If they knew you were a triple hybrid, they would change their attitude in a heartbeat."