One Thousand and Two Lies (Reapers of Beauty Book 2) Read online

  It didn't rain until the grave was completely filled, and it took Xander's quiet plea for me to get out of the rain before I dared move.

  The rain was nothing to me.

  All it did was splatter onto the surface of my pale skin. It didn't hurt me. It wouldn't rid me of the sins I'd committed over the years, or remove the ache in my heart that wished Minju and I could have traded places.

  Now, as I sat in the passenger seat of Xander's car with Silas in the back seat, I regretted it.

  I regretted telling Minju that I wanted to remember. The memories only taunted me, over and over again, reminding me of how I'd failed her.

  How I hadn't been strong enough to get the serum to Master.

  It was hard to explain the conflict I was dealing with within in the confines of my mind.

  One half of me was happy I'd been there, thankful I'd taken the bullets and saved the silver-haired, pink-eyed male, who I'd come to learn was Ace.

  Even if our magic had played a big role in our sudden pause, at least he'd come out of it alive.

  However, it went back to the fact that I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't last a little longer, move a bit faster.

  Minsu and Minso told me repeatedly, that there was no other way out. What Minju had done was the smartest choice, the last resort they had, and thankfully her fast thinking had saved my life.

  Did it mean I had to accept it? Nope.

  What shocked me the most, was the fact that Minsu and Minso weren't mad at me. When they walked into the hospital room the day after I'd woken up, they hugged me as tightly as they could and cried.

  We cried and mourned for Minju.

  We sobbed over the freedom she'd delivered to us.

  We whimpered over the future we now had thanks to Minju's actions.

  Any other person would have some sort of grudge against me.

  It was my fault that Minju had made the snap decision to replicate my image and play decoy while Xander and the others rescued me.

  Yet, the “twins” held no anger towards me. They explained that they’d made the decision long ago, that if I'd ever died on a mission, they wouldn't return.

  Minsu even noted that Master knew about it, and it was one of the reasons why he'd never sent us on missions that were categorized as ‘suicide.’

  Like strapping a bomb to yourself to detonate mid sex, for example.

  After Xander had guided me out of the rain and helped me dry off, Minsu and Minso came to comfort me, hugging and whispering that everything would be okay.

  Funny how they were comforting me, yet I felt like I'd murdered their sister.

  The sisters had explained that they had snuck back to the shrine, almost out of habit and fear of being haunted by Master's own spies.

  Or other Reapers like us.

  However, the Master created a contract and gave them freedom, sticking to the deal that he'd made with Minju.

  They hadn't told him I'd survived, mostly due to the fact that they didn't know if I'd make it, to begin with.

  It was easy to lie, because the future was uncertain, and regardless of truth or lie, they wouldn't risk putting me in danger by telling Master I was still alive.

  They took all of our things and all of Minju's remaining items and they were going to be temporarily staying with Elijah and Isaiah, the twins we'd met at the club.

  They had been keeping in touch this entire time, but it was nice to know they were being so supportive and offering their place as temporary living quarters while the sisters figured things out.

  As of right now, we were clueless as to what to do, none of us were in the mindset to plot our next plans.

  I didn't know when we would be ready. Now that we were free, where did we go from here?

  Once I knew the sisters would be safe with a roof over their heads, Xander encouraged me to return with him to our place.

  I'd almost forgotten that I'd moved in before the mission, and the thought of going back to the quiet, peaceful, spacious place helped me to not completely shut down.

  I'd already closed off my emotions, granting Minju's wish to celebrate and not shed a tear, but as we drove onto the freeway and I stared at the passing cars and trees, it felt like my body was going numb.

  Giving up on trying to stay awake, I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would help me in some way.

  As of now, I felt pretty average. My body didn't hurt, but it wasn't necessarily comfortable either. I was on heavy pain medication that I'd have to take around the clock.

  I'd taken a pill before we'd begun the journey back home from the funeral and it was the reason why it felt a tad easier to shut everything out and try to sleep.

  The doctor who'd been assigned to me said if I was asleep when I needed to take my pain meds, the guys could give me an injected formula, which I'd given them permission to do.

  Why fight the irresistible urge to sleep just to take pills?

  I hadn't thanked everyone properly yet for their kindness and generosity. It was very rude of me, and I kept reminding myself to thank them whenever I got the chance, but I couldn't.

  The words wouldn't come out.

  To be honest, it was hard to talk in general. I didn't feel like doing anything right now except staring aimlessly at an object and being lost in my memories of Minju.

  The many missions we'd taken together. The times it was just us, while her sisters were out on missions and we'd keep each other company.

  The times we'd chat quietly in the middle of the night, wondering how our lives would be if we weren't Reapers, or joking about Minju's constant change in religion. I wondered if she was now Catholic up in heaven.

  If there was a heaven… was she really at peace? Was she happy? Was she really free?

  I wondered how long it would be until I recovered from all of this. How much time would need to pass by for me to accept what had happened and be okay with Minju's selfless act?

  As of now, I didn't know if I could hold up to the promise I made. To be able to love and be happy. Right now, it was too hard to even think about.

  Let alone envision a future, loving freely without her coming to my mind.

  Something brushed my cheek, but I didn't move, my body far too exhausted to be bothered by the soft touch.

  "Xia?"

  It was Xander's gentle voice. When he used that soft tone of his, it made it hard to ignore, but my eyes were too heavy for me to open; the medication finally took its toll on my weak body.

  "She took her meds before the journey back. They must be kicking in now."

  That was Silas’ relaxed voice. I could picture his 6'7” height, long blond to strawberry red strands in a ponytail hairstyle, and his mismatched teal and amber eyes that peeked through his gold-rimmed glasses.

  He'd still be wearing his white dress pants and turquoise blue dress shirt, dressing similarly to the other guys who dressed to celebrate, and not to mourn death.

  "She needs lots of rest. She looks far worse than she did yesterday," Xander admitted.

  "Do you blame her? She watched her best friend’s, who she practically ranked as a sister, empty casket be lowered to the ground. The triplet… twins, said she doesn't handle death well."

  "No one should handle death well. Unless it's natural, it’s not something you should be trained to adapt to," Xander mumbled and sighed. "Sorry. I'm just on the edge today."

  "Not your fault. When Xia's in pain… it kinda affects all of us, doesn't it? You noticed Ace was a lot more emotional than usual," Silas noted.

  "Her magic reacts strongly with his. I don't know if Xia felt it during the funeral, but it was a struggle to stay still."

  "It was. I think Dante was the least affected by it," Silas replied.

  I heard the sound of the seatbelt being unbuckled. My body was lifted and my head rested against someone's chest.

  My magic tingled slightly, but from the feel of it, I knew it wasn't Xander holding me.

  Silas...

  "I can take her u
p," Xander suggested.

  "You need to sleep. Seriously, you look worse than when Xia was in a coma," Silas countered.

  "I… don't look that bad," Xander argued.

  "When was the last time you slept?"

  "Why does everyone ask me that?" Xander grumbled.

  "Because you look like a sleepless shit," Silas replied.

  "I'll stay with Xia," Xander proposed.

  "Meaning you'll sleep, or you'll watch her sleep?"

  Xander said nothing and Silas groaned. "I'll stick around. I took a month off."

  "You did what? Why?" Xander sounded surprised.

  My body was swaying back and forth, and I knew we must have walked out from the cool air into a warm atmosphere. The sound of their squeaking shoes caught my attention, but I tuned back into the conversation.

  "I don't need to physically go to work to do my job. I'm a Hacker. If they need me, they can text me. As of now, I need some time off anyway. I don't think I could hack shit without knowing if Xia's okay," Silas admitted.

  Even though I was on the verge of sleep, his words made their mark within me.

  I still couldn't grasp all of the compassion and love they had shown to someone like me who'd just entered their lives. Even if magic was involved and mine complemented each of theirs, it didn't mean they were entitled or forced to be kind to me.

  To treat me like their long-term lover.

  "I see your point," Xander replied. "Maybe I should take some time off. Not like I don't have stacks of vacation time."

  "If Boss saw a glimpse of your ass, he'd send you on a six-month vacation."

  "I don't look that bad."

  "Xia asked you at least five times if you'd slept today. That's saying something when she's barely said anything,” Silas reminded.

  That was true. Xander's sleepless appearance was worrying me.

  I don’t want to lose him too.

  "Fine… you have a point." Xander huffed.

  "MEOW!"

  The high pitched cry would have put a delighted smile on my lips if I wasn't borderline asleep and emotionally exhausted.

  "Hey, Ruby. Shhh, Mommy is sleeping," Silas whispered.

  "Meow?" Ruby's reply was quieter this time, and I could see her tiny body looking up at Silas in confusion.

  My body was lowered onto a soft surface and by the hint of familiar softener that invaded my senses, I gathered I had been placed on Xander’s bed.

  I felt a light tug at the hair tie holding my neatly made bun being unraveled, allowing my hair to be free from its tight hold.

  I wish I could mentally thank whoever had taken the hair tie out. I didn't want to admit it, but it was giving me a headache, and I couldn't be bothered to take it down.

  The pain is nothing compared to being dead.

  "Do you think she's going to be okay?" Silas whispered.

  Uncertainty and a hint of concern filled his voice.

  "Time will tell. She may not be back to the person she was before her mission, but she'll become stronger. I think we all know firsthand the struggle that comes with loss. Time helps to heal open wounds."

  "True," Silas replied. "I'm gonna check in with Ace and Dante. If we're taking some time off, might as well encourage them to do the same. We all need a break."

  "Sounds like a plan." Xander yawned.

  "I have a question," Silas voiced.

  "What?"

  "You and Dante. Off?"

  "Yup."

  "Permanently?"

  Xander didn't answer.

  The sound of someone taking a deep inhale made me wonder if it was Silas. "You two need to figure this shit out. It's going to hurt both of you if we're going all in with our relationship with Xia."

  "I'm aware, Silas."

  "You still care."

  "My feelings are confused."

  "Are you sure?"

  The dip of the bed told me someone was sitting on the other side to my left. Something brushed along the side of my face and trailed down to my lips.

  The smooth feeling of their thumb ran along my bottom lip.

  "I don't know how to explain it, Silas. With Dante… the love is there. Yes… he loves me, and he can demonstrate that love and compassion with no problem. But does it light up a spark in me? No. As harsh and mean as it sounds. My body reacts, but my heart doesn't skip a beat or stop when he enters the room like Xia. Her eyes alone… those rubies that hide so much. It pulls me in each time she stares at me. The way she walks with confidence and can hide what she's thinking excites me. When she smiles, it feels like everything around me is a little brighter, and when she's sad, I can't help but be sad too."

  Xander paused for a moment as if thinking it out, and then continued.

  "It's two different feelings, Silas. I don't think I'll stop caring for Dante, but for now, Xia excites my very being. My soul connects with hers, and my magic feels hers so strongly that sometimes it's hard to breathe. When we met in the club, she was the only person I could focus on, and when I kiss her… that's just a whole other level of bliss. She figured out I have a past relationship with Dante and it didn't bother her, but for now, I just want to focus on loving her. I want to show that as cruel and scary as this world can be, there's still space for love."

  "You should write a book."

  "Fuck you. Are we done with our shrink session?" Xander chuckled.

  "You love my advice, and yes. Can Ruby stay?"

  "Doesn't look like she's moving from her spot next to Xia."

  "She's attached." Silas sounded amused.

  "Very. I'm glad. It’s hard to be alone in the world, you know."

  "I know," Silas whispered. "Glad to have you jerks."

  "Go away. I'm going to sleep." Xander groaned and Silas quietly laughed.

  "Get some rest, leader. I'll take care of things if anything comes up," Silas reassured him.

  "Thanks, Silas."

  "No problem. Rest up."

  The door closed, and the sound seemed to echo through the room, even though it was a quiet click.

  The silence that followed reminded me of when I would stand on the roof, but it didn't hold the same essence.

  I feel lonely.

  I hadn't realized a whimper escaped my lips until it reached my ears and warm arms held me against their body as a tender touch pressed against my forehead.

  "You're not alone, Xia. I'm right here. Ruby's here too," Xander soothed.

  Something crawled onto me and snuggled into the spot between my shoulder and neck.

  "Meow."

  "See? We're right here. Just rest." Xander's calming voice helped shoo away the loneliness that threatened to consume me.

  I couldn't recall how long I quietly cried, but Xander held me the entire time. He didn't care that my tears stained his shirt, and I could tell by the amount of affection in his comforting words that he'd cradle me in his arms no matter how many times I cried.

  I never imagined I’d one day need a man's comfort, but to be held in these arms that wrapped around me like a safety net, I couldn't help but be thankful for meeting Xander Zhou at the club that night.

  When the darkness came for me, I didn't fight it, and I had no doubt in my mind that this wouldn't be the last time I'd break down and cry myself to sleep. But something told me everything would work out.

  Especially with Xander, Dante, Silas, and even Ace being around.

  The feeling that always guided me told me that everything would be okay.

  All I needed… was time.

  I stared at the screen that lit up at the slight movement of my hand, and I waited patiently in silent anticipation, my eyes never leaving the screen that slowly faded to black.

  How long have I been sitting here?

  It was the first day of me being alone in the house. I couldn't even remember how many days had passed so far, only events that have taken place.

  When I first woke up from what I thought was a nap, I was snuggled in Xander's arms. He was fast asleep, and he hon
estly needed it. I must have worried him a lot because he looked like he hadn't slept for days, and his apparent weight loss added to my list of concerns.

  I enjoyed the comfort his warmth gave me, and I didn't care if he slept for hours. Staying in his arms was nice.

  When he had woken up, we didn't exchange many words. It was the common, “Are you okay? Are you feeling well? Are you hungry, thirsty, want to just relax?” set of questions.

  To be fair, I didn't feel like doing much of anything, but when Xander said it, I wanted to please him just a little.

  Another moment I recalled was having a staring contest with Dante. He lost, but did keep my mind occupied for a bit.

  Silas was pretty quiet and didn't ask much of me. He made sure I ate though. It was apparently non-negotiable as I'd lost a bit of weight already, which wasn't very good.

  I personally loved my shape, and I could imagine all the clothes that would go to waste if I lost my curves.

  Therefore, it was Silas’ job to make sure I ate, while Dante and Xander would help me train once I was up for it. For now, the goal was taking it one day at a time. So far, that was difficult to do.

  I'd napped a lot and played with Ruby to pass the time, but did I feel like doing anything else? Not really.

  Ace was the real mystery. I could see why the others said he looked like he'd want to kill everyone.

  He was extremely quiet, which made you wonder if he was even in the room at some points. He could hide his presence easily, and maybe it was just a habit of his because you wouldn't notice him unless you were paying attention or he was right in your face.

  I learned that when I opened the washroom door and he'd just gotten out of the shower. You can imagine it would have been an embarrassing moment on my end, but with my current mood, all I did was take a rather long analyzing stare at his naked body, bowed my head in apology and walked out.

  Dante still hasn't let Ace off the hook about it, but I got a pass since I was still in mourning. I guess that was what they called it.

  It wasn't like Ace wasn't attractive.

  He was exceptionally attractive… especially naked with those drenched white locks stuck to his hard chiseled body; his sexy pink eyes were always an added bonus.